Independence

I have always driven since the moment I got my learner's permit at the age of 15. It was just something every kid I knew did, like a right of passage of sorts. I didn't realize at the time how priceless it truly was to have the freedom of driving. That is until we moved to Seattle three years ago.
When we moved to Seattle we had to down size to one car. Due to the cost of living there and living on one paycheck it was not feasible for us to be able to afford two cars and all the expenses that go along with it. It was agreed that my husband needed the car more than my son and I. He had to be to work by 5a.m. and often did not get home until 9p.m. at the earliest. A lot of people asked, could he not take the bus? Or a taxi? Or walk? We weighed all of those options but none of them worked out. Due to his hours and his need to get to the hospital in emergencies it was not practical for him to take a bus or taxi. He could very well walk the three miles to work but I didn't want him walking home in those late hours of the night or early hours in the morning in the sketchy neighborhoods he would've had to walk through to get to work and then back home. And so my son and I had to find things to do that were within walking distance to our apartment. If we needed groceries it was a 20 block walk round trip, and we did it a lot. Thankfully there were three parks within a mile in opposite directions to our apartment. We made it work but it was still difficult. One thing I regret was not taking the bus. As I look back on those years I think we could've explored more on our own had I taken the bus with the kids. There were times we would have to get up at 4a.m. to take him to work so we could have the car for doctors appointments and other necessary things but then I would also have to wake our kids up to go get him at all hours of the night when he was done for the day.
It did get a little better our third year there when he was doing his Congenital fellowship. He didn't have to be to work quite as early so it was more practical and easier to get the car during that year. I didn't realize the independence and convenience one loses when they do not have the ability to drive places. It was a real struggle for me to lose that aspect in life. When we moved to West Virginia there were a few weeks when we still had one car but we were so busy with tasks at the new house that it wasn't an issue. Also my husband hadn't started work in that time either. We now fill our two-car garage though and I will not hesitate to say I LOVE having a car again. To all of my environmental friends don't worry the kids and I don't drive around aimlessly but we do like getting out and about most days. I have come to appreciate the privilege and independence having a car permits.
 The struggles that were endured during the years of residency help to keep things in perspective for us and make us appreciate the things we have. And those struggles make us better people for it.   

A Little Piece of Magic

In my younger years when talking about my hopes and dreams with friends among their list was always have a family. To be honest that was one area in life I was uncertain about. Not entirely sure I was mother material; it was definitely not something in the forefront of my mind. Many years later, that makes me sound old, I met and married my husband. After a year we decided to try for a family. 

When we had our son on that first day all I could do was look at his beautiful little face as he starred at me with eyes of wonderment. So many things went through my mind in those first few hours. Would I be a good mother? What kind of life would he live and lead? How do I raise him and guide him to be the best version of himself while at the same time giving him his freedom to find himself in life on his own terms? How can I keep him safe in this changing world where threats are everywhere of every kind?

In his short four years, almost five, of his life I have found myself looking at life through his eyes. I love to watch him experience new things. The innocence of childhood so pure and unaffected by the large world that surrounds him. It helps keep me grounded when we have our little talks about life. I love his very big imagination and the way he views things in life. I remember the night shortly after we moved to West Virginia when we showed him fireflies "lightening bugs" for the first time. That will forever be a memory I cherish in my heart. The simple amazement and joy on his face. When we explained to him what they were he said it was "magical." And I must admit I felt the same. 
Last night the kids requested to have campout in the basement. A favorite weekend tradition of ours of pulling out the sleeping bags and sleeping on the floor, reading stories, playing games, or watching movies. Last night while I was trying to get our daughter to sleep I kept noticing a blinking glowing light by the door that goes outside. My first thought was is someone secretly recording us?! I watched it for several minutes and a moment later a firefly outside went past our basement window. And then it dawned on me; I bet we have a firefly stuck in our house. She noticed it as well and asked what it was. I told her I thought it might be a firefly. She went to sleep shortly after at which time I went upstairs to get my husband so we could catch it. The poor little thing had in fact gotten stuck in the doorframe but his glowing light was a beacon that directed us right to him. After we caught him in the jar we took him upstairs to show our son who was waiting for bed. He could not believe what he was seeing. He just watched it for the longest time. At that moment I was certain that when he had seen the magical glowing orbs in the backyard two months ago, stories of glowing bugs was something he thought only his imagination would conjure up.
I wish I could keep our children small forever. I wish I could protect them from the negative things in this world but I can't. I fall short often, daily even, of "Mother of The Year" but I do my best to try and give them the kind of childhood that will give them life long memories of happiness. And so when they go out into this big world they will have these little pieces of magic to take with them.

Visitors

We had our first visitors this week! My parents came out from Washington for a few days over the holiday weekend. We got to the airport a little early so we hung around the baggage claim area. When we saw them the excitement from our kids was heard throughout the airport. They both yelled "Grammy! Bunka!" and went running for them. It was a priceless moment I wish I could've captured on video. As always the visit didn't feel long enough but we packed a few things into our days.
We took them to a local minor league baseball game, hit up the local doughnut shop, and did a little school clothes shopping. Thanks to my awesome step dad we were able to get some electrical stuff figured out around here. It's very handy to know an electrician, especially one who takes payments in hot fresh doughnuts! Unfortunately the kids got sick during their stay but it didn't slow them down any. Our son got to work on some sports stuff which his Bunka specializes in. We like to refer to it as Bunka Bootcamp. Afternoons spent running and playing football and basketball were some of the highlights, as well as getting to help Bunka with some projects around the house.
My mom was able to lend me some decorating help and put together my front porch fall decorations for me as my house warming gift. I can't wait for her to come back and give me some more advice and help because I am lacking in that department. After a fun-filled three days with them we had to say goodbye and take them back to the airport. As always it was hard to say goodbye. In the car on the way home our son asked three times when they would return. After our daughter woke from her nap she went upstairs to look in the room they had slept in calling out for them as if they were playing hide-and-go-seek with her. To her disappointment they never came out and I had to remind her we had dropped them to the airport that morning. We look forward to more visits from them and hopefully others soon!

DIY

I hadn't realized that it had been nearly three weeks since my last post! Time just got away from me. We bought our first house when we moved here. A beautiful home that almost reduced me to tears with the thought that once the ink had dried it would belong to us. At the time we didn't realize the amount of stuff that would need to be done to the house. Some stuff needed to be done immediately while other things we will work on over time. All of these projects we have taken on in here have used up my otherwise limited down time and so I have neglected my computer and my blog.
It is definitely different being a homeowner. It is an awesome feeling to be able to have your own home. When we lived in our apartments I dreamed of the day our children would have a yard they could run around in as opposed to the 1-2 hours a day we would spend at the park every day. The park was great, they could run and play and exhaust some of their energy but to have the freedom to go outside as you please is truly a blessing.
There is also a lot of responsibility that goes along with owning your own home too. At first it was overwhelming with the thought of the things that we needed to do but the silver lining is we get to put our own touches in here and make it our own home. My husband commented recently that by the time we are finished with our big projects it will be like a brand new house. I actually enjoy these projects. I suppose though there will always be projects coming up. Sometimes little things you are wanting to change or unfortunate big unexpected projects like the ones we experienced once we got moved in but that is just part of life and being a homeowner. I hope to one day get back to my limited crafty ways and do some DIY projects that are maybe a little more fun than patching and painting an entire bedroom and bathroom but all in good time. Besides we have to get these big projects done before my productivity level decreases some in December! :)