In Fall of 2011 we welcomed our highly energetic son into the world. My husband was in his fourth year of General Surgery residency and life got a little more busy after that. At the time of his birth I was already more than half way into my Bachelor's degree program and was working full time in the ICU. I took four months of maternity leave then it was back to work. I was sad to leave him on the days I worked, but I loved being a nurse and he was in very good hands. After six months I graduated (Magna Cum Laude) with my Bachelors of Science Degree in Nursing and decided it was time to change to working at nights in the ICU. That meant our son didn't have to be watched by anyone anymore and I could still work and enjoy nursing. Back then it was a bit easier to work around my husband's schedule as it was slightly predictable. On the days when life threw a curve ball we had the most amazing support of some of the best friends we could ask for. They would, without hesitation, help us on the days that I had to go to work and my husband was stuck in an operation or when I was already at work and he had to go in for an emergency surgery.
Things changed though in the summer of 2013 when we moved for my husband's Cardiothoracic Surgery residency. We were closer to family, but not close enough to where we could have someone come over and watch our son. We knew no one in the big city and as much as I wanted to return to work there were some serious things we needed to evaluate. One of the things we had to look at was scheduling. My husband's schedule for the next few years would be such that he had scheduled surgeries Monday through Friday, and very frequent emergencies and transplants that would arise. And we also had to work around his call schedule which included but was not limited to two weekends a month and on certain rotations was on call 24/7 for three months. Another area we had to look at was the fact that if I intended to go back to work we would have to place our son in daycare. Daycare in the big city unfortunately is quite expensive and my salary would essentially be funding his daycare and so not financially helpful. I could work the two weekends he had off but as we saw he was likely to get called in even on those days and also we would never have any family time. And so, what was important to us? I missed working but were there any benefits to me returning to work besides my selfish reasons for missing the job? My husband supported whatever decision I made and so I had some things to think about. After all things considered I decided that, for now, my place was at home with my son and later our daughter as well. People have asked me if I will return to work when my husband is done with all of his training and I can honestly say I am not sure. If I do, I will go back to working nights and part time as I have now seen how important it is for my kids to have me at home. Yes I miss working, I miss taking care of patients. I miss having intellectual conversations with adults though I must say I have had some stimulating conversations with my son. I miss the interaction with people that I once had and feeling like a valued member of the team but had I not been at home I might not have been able to say I taught my son how to read and write, two skills that will carry him throughout his life. I might not have been there to watch him learn to swim. And let's be honest with my daughter's lack of sleeping I would have shown up to work like a zombie EVERY day. The choice to stay home is not for everyone but if you can and want to stay home the rewards are immeasurable.
*If any chance you are reading this Aunty Tiff (Tiffany), Aunty Sully (Lauren), Shay and Grandma Patsy I cannot thank you enough for your love and support during those early years. I couldn't have done it without you!
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