Do you ever stop and realize gifts we are given in this life that we so easily take for granted? Simple things like watching our children play outside, listening to their laughter or hearing them say ‘I love you’. Tasting food and experiencing different cuisines. Wandering around in nature, in all of its splendid glory.
Three weeks ago, I woke up one morning to a blurry world. Normally this is common for me, as I have needed corrective lenses since my late teenage years. What was unusual though was when I was looking at my hand in front of my face but not being able to see it clearly. Thinking it was from a late night of studying I went to the kitchen continually blinking my eyes to focus while I made my husband coffee before he went to work. I sat down at my computer to look through a school project I was working on and realized I could not even see my computer screen unless I closed my right eye.
I went to the bathroom to put in my contact lens. The left one went in and was fine. I looked around the bathroom and nothing had changed. However, when I closed my left eye I still could only see blobs of blurry things in my surroundings. This was very unusual. Normally my right eye is my stronger eye and I usually only need my contacts to see things in the distance. So, I went to put my right contact lens in. The world was still a blurry mess. I thought maybe it was something wrong with the lens. I threw it out and got a new one. Same thing. Frustrated, I decided to open a new box and try one from the new box. Same thing. Hmm, what is going on. We needed to schedule our annual eye exams anyway, so I called and scheduled our appointments. Mine was last Monday.
I went in and when they asked if this was just a routine annual exam I explained that I had not been able to see out of my right eye for a week and a half. That the world was blurry, and I mostly walked around with my eye shut if I needed to see anything. They took me back for my exam. They started the exam, but I couldn’t read any of the lines I should have been able to. So, they moved me to the room where the doctor would see me. She came in and said that they would need to dilate my eyes and do an in depth structural exam because something wasn’t right. Well duh, I am practically blind right now! Don’t worry I did not say that. After the exam, in true doctor fashion she pushed the machine away and started talking about what was going on and the possibilities that presented themselves. My cornea had either experienced a hypoxic injury, or I had a condition known as Terrien’s corneal degeneration. Terrien’s is normally seen in men, however it can occur in women. She said because of the significant inflammation in my eye she would need to put me on a combo antibiotic/steroid drop that I would need to use four times a day as well as a flax oil lubricating drop every two hours and to take fish oil for the next week to see if the inflammation would go down. I also had to get a special lens for my glasses to try and make some corrections to help me navigate this challenge and improve my vision as much as we could.
Today was one week. I have thankfully had small improvements in my close vision and don’t have to sit with my face right next to the computer or close my right eye but there is still a significant amount of inflammation she says. I have to continue to use the drops for two more weeks while they try to get my insurance to approve a new medicated drop for my eye. I will need to go back in two weeks to have my eye numbed, so they can do an aqueous test and another vision check. I asked the doctor today if this will be my new ‘normal’ and the world will resume in a less perfect picture for my right eye. She said she hopes that as the cornea heals I will get some of my close vision back in my right eye but only time will tell. So, if you see me close my right eye if we are conversing, please note I am not winking at you but rather trying to focus with my left eye to get a better picture.
The doctor told me she was glad that I was being so diligent about the medication and lubricating drops. She told me a story of a young lady, a few years younger than myself, that had experienced a similar issue but was not willing to adhere to the medication regimen and also not willing to go without her contacts and she is now waiting for a cornea transplant. I assured her that I am not willing to take that risk and if that means walking around with my big ole glasses and excusing myself to make sure I get my drops in my eye every two hours I will do just that.
Life is precious. We often get caught up in the busyness and take for granted the gifts we have. Vision is one of those precious things that when it’s gone, it’s gone. I am determined to do what I have to do to regain as much of my vision as I can, doing exactly what the doctor tells me to do. She said this will likely be a several month process, but I am on the right track and she thinks that I will hopefully regain some (If not most fingers crossed) of my close vision in the next several months but my distant vision will remain with a significantly higher prescription of correction moving forward. This has been a real wake up call for me. In the last week I have looked around at things and often thought to myself what if I never get to see this clearly again and the damage cannot be corrected. Obviously, my left eye is fine, and I can navigate the world with my left eye, but I realize now the preciousness of the things we are afforded that can so easily be taken away in the blink of an eye.
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