Quiet Moments

In the early years of formal residencies physicians would reside in the hospital and that is where the name originated from. Over the course of time that has changed. Although, sometimes it feels like it is still in that era.

It was a huge adjustment for us when we moved for my husbands Cardiothoracic Surgery residency. The biggest adjustment was for our son. Though General Surgery kept my husband very busy he still had one-on-one time with our son. Back then I used to work night shift on the nights he wasn't on call. I would make them dinner and head to work leaving them to their bonding time. When we moved here however he got very little time with his daddy. It took a little while but our son and I found our own routine and enjoyed our days together. It became painfully obvious one day when my husband got called back to the city for a transplant on his weekend off.

We decided to drop him off at the hospital when we got back to town so our son and I could have the car to run some errands. As we pulled up to the hospital my son utters from the back seat, in his quiet little voice "is daddy's visit over now? We have to take him back to his home." My husband looked at me and all I could do was shrug. They say children speak the truth. Their inhibition and honest thoughts come sputtering out of their mouths without a second thought. And so there it was, out on the table. He viewed the hospital as my husbands home because that was where he spent 98% of his time during those two years.

After that little comment we decided we needed to make an effort so that he could still see his daddy some nights, no matter the time. There were days I would give him a late afternoon nap so that he would be awake at 10 or 11 at night when my husband would get home. And then there were the more special nights. Nights when he would be woken up by his daddy's touch and offered ice cream and a late night visit. One night I captured a picture of the two of them sharing this moment together. My husband asked how his day was and he sleepily rambled off our activities. And then he would ask his daddy if he helped anyone that day. To which my husband would tell him how his day was and what he did. I am quite confident that the medical terminology and procedures went right over his little head but he sat there in his daddy's lap and soaked up every single word that he said.

It was in these quiet moments that I realized that it would be OK and, as long as we made the effort life wouldn't be missed by either of them.